Practicing Detachment

There is a principle in yoga, which is referred to as detachment. This principle also exists in all major religions in the form of surrender to a higher being. 

I had first read about the concept of detachment in A Course in Miracles years back. When I got to the passage explaining detachment, I was distraught and immediately stopped reading. My initial reaction was that if we are detached from our lives, our loved ones, our jobs, and our material goods, it’s as if we don’t care. In my naive view, I saw detachment as apathy. If you ever meet me, you will know that I’m the least apathetic person on the planet. I care about everything and everyone. 

At times when we shut down emotionally because we are hurt. We detach ourselves from the situation or we declare that we are detaching. In reality, this is not detachment at all. By putting a barrier between yourself, an emotional situation and your own emotions, you are actually attaching even more to the situation because you are creating a deception with an attempt to feel the hurt less. However, when the feelings of the situation resurface or another related event happens, you will see this exaggerated attachment by your own negative reaction. 

Detachment, in the yoga sense, is about letting go of control. In Christian circles, the phrase is letting go and letting God. We tend to go through life orchestrating events, planning, goal setting, working, and playing and we have this concept that we are in total control. There is a fallacy in this belief because if you are in control and I am in control and we are friends, then, who is really in control, you or me? 

Many of us also believe the cause and effect of things to a fault. You may think, “O.K., if I’m nice to this person and treat him kindly, then eventually he will turn around and be kind back.” This may or may not be true. But if you adhere to the belief that he will, in fact, be kind in return, and he isn’t, you are left disappointed, upset and discouraged. Yet, if you approach this same situation with detachment, you might say, “I will treat him with kindness because that is the core essence of who I am. He may not return to me with kindness, but that is no matter because I can’t really control the outcome.” With this approach, there is no disappointment or sad feelings, only happiness because you know you are doing what is right regardless of the outcome. 

Detachment is also synonymous with surrender. We don’t always see the grander picture at work. If you believe in a higher being, your higher power is orchestrating events and situations beyond your wildest dreams. And if you don’t believe in a higher power, know that universal energy or Mother nature is keeping the planets aligned and the seasons on time. Can you do that by yourself? 

Sometimes when I think I’ve got it all figured out, God surprises me. Oh, yeah, I would have to say, this happens most of the time. 

When you detach, you can sit back and enjoy the show. Have you ever seen the person “running the show”? That person is often harried, stressed, frazzled and downright unhappy. 

Practicing detachment is difficult for most people. I have been embracing this concept for over seven years and it still eludes me. But when you do, you will find more enjoyment out of life. You will live more fully in the present moment. You will stop worrying about the future. Because you are being taken care of. Do what you can do and then let God, spirit, mother nature or the universe do the rest. 

Wishing you peace, happiness and love.

Michelle Fondin

Author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle and Secrets of The Wheel of Healing: An 8 CD Audio Program with Workbook. 

www.michellefondin.com

https://www.facebook.com/michellesfondin

Why are we getting more sick as a society?

This is one subject that consistently baffles me. In the U.S. today, we are more privileged, more advanced in technology and just plain richer than most countries. And yet, we are a country that has more cancer, more heart disease, and more diabetes and obesity than most.

What in the world are we doing?

I have made it my life's mission to help the U.S. turn around its view of health, wellness and a quality life.

We are sitting on our butts all day. 

As much as we have gym memberships, home exercise equipment and fitness classes, most of us are sitting around for a majority of the day. Our bodies have not been developed over time to be sedentary. Sitting for long periods makes you more tired and causes you to sit more.

The workplace is probably a big contributing factor. 

If you have a desk job, it's probably killing you. I know that's a bold statement, but there is truth. Each week I see more clients who complain to me, that in order to keep up and not lose their jobs, they must put increasing hours at work. And guess what? That means more sitting.

We are overachievers. 

Unfortunately, in the U.S., if you are not doing more and being more, you may not feel successful. And that means, when you come home from your day job, you are probably carting your kids to baseball, soccer, dance or other activities and thus neglecting your own health. 

We are eaters. 

Since we live this frenetic lifestyle, we are often doing a "grab and go". We grab a Starbucks on the way to work with a pastry. We grab a bag of chips at the vending machine. We grab a soda to be able to work more. Our lifestyle does not allow us to sit and enjoy meals.

We reward ourselves with alcohol. 

Just like the "grab and go" mentality of our eating habits, we have a reward system for getting through our busy lives with a glass of wine, a bottle of beer or a martini. So you spend the day, not moving, eating unhealthy foods, stressing out over your never ending day and on top of it, pour alcohol into your already unhealthy body. Is it any surprise we're getting more sick? 

A Healthy Lifestyle Must Become a Priority in Every Walk of Life. 

As a society, we must turn our lifestyle around if we are to get better. It must be acceptable to exercise during work hours, to take breaks to meditate or have walking meetings. Employees should be able to work remotely and be able to clock their hours and not be threatened with job loss. Wouldn't it be great if you actually got rewarded at work for clocking in hours at the gym, taking a meditation class or organizing an at work "Walk and Talk" meeting? 

Just as being a non-smoker has been more the norm today than 30 years ago, not drinking alcohol needs to become socially accepted as well. Unfortunately, drinking and success in business tend to go hand in hand as business deals are often closed over a glass of something. 

Taking time to eat needs to become another societal norm. In many European countries, people take an hour or more to eat lunch and sit around the table for family dinners. 

Just say "no" to over-scheduling. You don't have to be everything to everyone all of the time. Your child doesn't have to get into Harvard to be successful. The best way we can teach this next generation of kids to live healthfully is to do it ourselves. They will never learn otherwise. 

This is just a bit of food for thought. Any suggestions on how we can live more healthfully as a whole? 

Michelle Fondin

Author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle

www.michellefondin.com

Mastering the Basics Before Going in Depth

One thing I most often hear in my practice is, “What can give me the quickest results to take my practice, diet or health to the next level?” My response is, “Pay attention to simplicity. Master the basics. Learn to meditate and practice it. Start eating with awareness. Listen to your inner voice.” 

Typically this is not what people want to hear. They want a quick fix. They want to feel success right now. An Ayurvedic and yoga practice is not about “quick fix right now”. It’s about pinpointing with accuracy the change you need to make on a permanent basis to get lasting results for a lifetime. Anyone can sell quick fixes or in depth details on how to get results now. But that is not the goal of an Ayurvedic or yoga practice. 

When I was younger, I dated a high school art teacher. He was baffled at the arrogance of talented young teenage artists, who wanted to learn how to paint like the great masters, without understanding the basics of drawing. Yet, he made them go back to the basics by penciling basic sketches and shading. After parental protests he shared with me, “These students will never go on to be great artists if they don’t master basic drawing skills first.”  While I don’t know a lot about painting, I do know this; when you visit expositions on famous artists, you will always see many pencil sketchings before the great masterpieces. My daughter, who has natural talent in art, sketches for about eight to ten hours per day. 

In discussing the concept of Christianity with a friend a few weeks ago, he shared that grasping the concepts were very deep and difficult to follow. My suggestion was to start easy. I made the commentary that most people have difficulty following the life of Jesus by just being kind. Can you imagine? Kindness is a relatively simple concept. Yet, how many follow it on a regular basis? 

When the great yoga master, BKS Iyengar, was a boy in India, he got up every morning at 4 a.m. to practice yoga with his teacher for two hours before breakfast. After four years, he was tired of the basics and begged his teacher to teach him breathing techniques or pranayama. At my studio, I see yoga students who have been practicing for six months or a year who want to take their practice to the next level. When I suggest they learn to meditate or master what they have already learned, they become frustrated. What they want are more difficult yoga poses. What yoga teaches us is to want inner peace and the discovery of ourselves. 

So why do we hate the basics so much? Why do we loathe repetition and simplicity? I believe it’s because we are linear in our thinking. We see progress as a straight line. Progress should be seen more as a circle. As we develop and grow, the circle becomes bigger and wider. In our growing we don’t always see results on the exterior. But the workings are happening from the inside. 

Try grasping a simple concept for one day. For example, eat all of your meals without distraction (any) and in silence. Have your eating be a sensual experience. Taste, smell, touch, and feel your food. Make each meal a mini-meditation. You may find that this concept, as simple as it is, is difficult for you. 

Or how about mastering the concept of non-judgment?  Spend one day judging nothing or no one, including yourself. Try to stay neutral and rooted in the present moment. Drawing inferences for the future is still judging. Making assumptions is judging. It’s a simple concept, yet difficult to apply, even for a day. 

You can do this with anything and start today. Pick one simple concept and apply it for a day. Then tomorrow, pick something else and pretty soon you will realize that the road to mastery is not far away. 

Love,

Michelle

Michelle Fondin author of "The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle"

www.michellefondin.com

Yoga Sutras: Embracing Least Effort

Never before, have we led more busy and divided lives. In the West, we strive to arrive. From the time we awake until the time we crash at night, constant demands are put upon us to do more, to acquire more, accomplish more, communicate more and be more. 

It is no wonder that, according to Medco Health Solutions in 2011, one in five Americans have taken or are taking drugs for mental health. That is 20% of all Americans. Twenty percent! Can you imagine? Why can’t we cope today without medication? 

The reason is simple. Because we don’t respect the natural rhythms of nature. 

If we look at nature all around us, it unfolds with least effort day to day, minute to minute, second to second. A tree doesn’t sit around worrying all winter if it will bud in the summer. Deer, even though they are constantly driven from their homes with deforestation, simply move on and find new food and shelter. 

In case you haven’t noticed, we’re a part of nature. Our bodies change according to the rhythms of day and night, the changing of the seasons, the phases of the moon. The simple cycle of day and night equal a principle of rest and activity. 

What we’ve succumbed to is a cycle of activity, activity, activity, crash.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that if you put batteries in a flashlight, keep it on 24/7, those batteries will die sooner than if you use it for a little while then turn it off. The same goes for us. 

We have a notion that if we don’t go out there and try as hard as we can to get what we want, life will slip away from us. However, when we are so out of touch with ourselves, we often waste time worrying, being ineffective or doing activities which don’t really help us get to what we want. 

Have you ever tried swimming up a river? I have. It’s pretty challenging. But if you turn around and let the current push you, you don’t have to do anything at all. You can simply enjoy the ride. 

How much are you enjoying this ride, called life? 

There is a yoga sutra, from a sacred Vedic text called The Bhagavad Gita, which is yogastah kuru karmani and translates to, “Established in being, perform action”. 

What this means is, wait until you are established in yourself, in the calm place that is connected to nature and ultimately to the universe to perform your daily duties. 

It’s no use running around ungrounded, ruffled and in a hurry if you are not established in self and connected. 

The way you can achieve this is by honoring least effort through meditation, prayer, contemplation, and/or silence daily. Take time to reconnect with nature and its rhythms. Make a vow to yourself to sit in silence some time each day. Take a class to learn meditation. Practice meditative movement like hatha yoga, Tai Chi or Qi Gong. Once you do this, then perform action, your life will be smooth sailing. Like a beautiful flower, each thing you desire will unfold effortlessly and easily. 

Wishing you peace, harmony, laughter and love. 

Namasté,

Michelle

Michelle Fondin

Founder of The Ayurvedic Path

www.theayurvedicpath.com

Ayurvedic Mind Body Types: Doshas

Instinctively, over 5,000 years ago, practitioners of Ayurveda observed nature, including humans, and realized we are not all built the same. We are, however, made up of the building blocks of nature but we simply have different proportions of these elements in our bodies, minds and personalities. 

In other words, before the concept of genes was discovered, Ayurvedic medicine understood we have different bodies, minds and personalities from the moment of our conception. 

These Ayurvedic mind body types are called doshas. They are composed of the five elements: space, air, fire, water and earth. 

The first Ayurvedic mind body type is called Vata and is made up of space and air. Vata types are usually thin with angular features. They are quick to move and ever changing. They enjoy new things, and often change jobs, careers, interests or relationships. A Vata type is most often the life of the party and friendly. When a Vata type is in balance, they have burst of energy, walk fast and talk fast, are creative and communicative. A Vata out of balance becomes anxious, worried or even neurotic. They tend to have cold hands, feet and have delicate digestion. Do you know someone who paces while they talk on the phone? Or maybe someone who resists routine and is unpredictable? It’s likely that person has a fair amount of Vata in his or her Ayurvedic mind body type.

Pitta is the second Ayurvedic mind body type. It is comprised of the elements of fire and water. Just like the primary element indicates, Pitta types are fiery, passionate, driven. They tend to be goal oriented, good leaders, enjoy education and factual knowledge. Pitta body types are mesomorphic or medium build. They have beautiful eyes and a warm gaze. Pitta types need to eat on time or they get cranky. When in balance, Pitta types are warm, intellectual, interesting, attractive. An out of balance Pitta can be quite scary to the receiver of the imbalance. They get angry, critical, judgmental. Do you know someone who’s skin is very warm to the touch? Does that person have eyes that melt your heart by a simple gaze or is completely goal oriented? You probably have someone with a majority of Pitta in his or her Ayurvedic mind body type. 

The third Ayurvedic mind body type is called Kapha. No one likes to be a Kapha when they read what a Kapha type is, but Kapha types have many great qualities. Kapha is comprised of water and earth. Needless to say, Kapha types are earthy and stable. Since water and earth make mud, Kapha types are grounded, more heavy physically than Vata and Pitta types and are slow movers. Kapha types have great physical stamina. They almost never get sick. Everything about them is slow. They eat and walk slowly. They adore routine. Kapha types are probably the most trustworthy friends you will ever meet. A Kapha friend might say, “I can look at a piece of cake and gain 10 pounds.” In balance a Kapha type is kind, trustworthy, affectionate and reliable. Out of balance, a Kapha type gains weight, can get depressed, can become possessive or become inert. Do you know someone who has struggled with his or her weight since birth? Does this person hold a record for being the most reliable person in your life? Does he or she prefer to stay at home and read a good book rather than go out? If so, you may know a Kapha type. 

We have all three of the doshas or Ayurvedic mind body types within each of us since we are all made up of space, air, fire, water and earth. We simply have different proportions of each. In the next blog post, we’ll discuss what it means to know your Ayurvedic mind body type. 

Wishing you peace, harmony, laughter and love each day. 

Namasté,
Michelle Fondin

Michelle Fondin is the author of The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda: An Easy Guide to a Healthy Lifestyle  and Help! I Think My Loved One Is an Alcoholic: A Survival Guide for Lovers, Family, & Friends. 

Meditation: Exploring The Universe Within

Silence. 

When you read that word, what comes to mind? For some, it may come as a respite from a chaotic life. For others, the thought may bring about anxious thoughts or a negative connotation such as silence in a conversation. And for many, who have never quite experienced total silence, bewilderment. 

I often ask the following question to new meditators, “Have you ever, in your life, sat in silence with yourself?” The most frequent answer is “no”. 

Since the moment of our birth, we are called to the outside world. And even before we are born, we are hearing sounds and responding to stimuli from the outside. Our entire existence here on earth calls us to explore everything outside of us. When we are young, we take cues from our parents and siblings, then teachers, then friends, then the media, then co-workers and bosses, then doctors or other professionals. We are constantly looking for advice, education, approval and answers from others. Even when we pray, we are often asking God for advice. Aren’t we? 

Although we have such a vast amount of resources at our disposal, in the world we live in today, we are often left more confused and divided than ever. Should we consult the iPhone or the Blackberry, search it on the Internet or turn on the TV? Should we ask our doctor or do a google search? Should we turn to our pastor or priest or go to the school for that answer? 

Did you know that you actually have all the answers within you? 

According to the teachings of Ayurveda, as vast as the universe out there is the universe within. Through meditation we learn to explore that universe that most of us have never touched. 

Can you imagine that we have only really begun to touch on the our universe, the one we live in, over thousands of years? In order for us to discover our universe, we need money and a lot of sophisticated scientific equipment. Even then, only a handful of scientists are able to discover the universe then report that information back to us. And we have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg. 

But you can explore the whole universe within you by simply getting silent, closing your eyes, and embracing the state of being. When we honor this call to silence, the universe within unfolds and the miraculous happens. Your life will start to transform and so will you. By getting silent, the answers to your questions will emerge without searching, asking advice or google. 

Even if you have no idea how to meditate you can find a place where you can sit in silence for 5 to 10 minutes, close your eyes and observe your breath. Notice what happens. Is your breath calmer, is your mind calmer? 

Try finding 15 minutes in your day to unplug. Turn off the TV, radio, cell phone, home phone or any other device that creates noise. Sit in silence in non-doing. See what comes up. 

Wishing you peace, harmony, laughter and love and moments of silence,

Michelle

Founder of The Ayurvedic Path in Herndon, VA

www.theayurvedicpath.com

http://www.theayurvedicpath.com/primordial-sound-meditation/

The Basis of Ayurveda, Yoga and Meditation: Exploring the Universe Within

Silence.

When you read that word, what comes to mind? For some, it may come as a respite from a chaotic life. For others, the thought may bring about anxiety or a negative connotation such as silence in a conversation. And for many, who have never quite experienced total silence, bewilderment.

I often ask the following question to new meditators, “Have you ever, in your life, sat in silence with yourself?” The most frequent answer is “no”.

Since the moment of our birth, we are called to the outside world. And even before we are born, we are hearing sounds and responding to stimuli from the outside. Our entire existence here on earth calls us to explore everything outside of us. When we are young, we take cues from our parents and siblings, then teachers, then friends, then the media, then co-workers and bosses, then doctors or other professionals. We are constantly looking for advice, education, approval and answers from others. Even when we pray, we are often asking God for advice. Aren’t we?

Although we have such a vast amount of resources at our disposal, we are often left more confused and divided than ever. Should we consult the iPhone or the Blackberry, search it on the Internet or turn on the TV? Should we ask our doctor or do a google search? Should we turn to our pastor or priest or go to the school for that answer?

Did you know that you actually have all the answers within you?

According to the teachings of Ayurveda, as vast as the universe out there is the universe within. Through meditation we learn to explore that universe that most of us have never touched.

Can you imagine we have only really begun to touch on our universe, the one we live in, over thousands of years? In order for us to discover the universe, we need money and a lot of sophisticated scientific equipment. Even then, only a handful of scientists are able to discover it then report that information back to us. And we have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg.

But you can explore the entire universe within you by simply getting silent, closing your eyes, and embracing the state of being. When we honor this call to silence, the universe within unfolds and the miraculous happens. Your life will start to transform and so will you. By getting silent, the answers to your questions will emerge without searching, asking advice or google.

Even if you have no idea how to meditate you can find a place where you can sit in silence for 5 to 10 minutes, close your eyes and observe your breath. Notice what happens. Is your breath calmer, is your mind calmer?

Try finding 15 minutes in your day to unplug. Turn off the TV, radio, cell phone, home phone or any other device that creates noise. Sit in silence in non-doing. See what comes up.

Wishing you peace, harmony, laughter and love and moments of silence,

Michelle