Practicing Detachment

There is a principle in yoga, which is referred to as detachment. This principle also exists in all major religions in the form of surrender to a higher being. 

I had first read about the concept of detachment in A Course in Miracles years back. When I got to the passage explaining detachment, I was distraught and immediately stopped reading. My initial reaction was that if we are detached from our lives, our loved ones, our jobs, and our material goods, it’s as if we don’t care. In my naive view, I saw detachment as apathy. If you ever meet me, you will know that I’m the least apathetic person on the planet. I care about everything and everyone. 

At times when we shut down emotionally because we are hurt. We detach ourselves from the situation or we declare that we are detaching. In reality, this is not detachment at all. By putting a barrier between yourself, an emotional situation and your own emotions, you are actually attaching even more to the situation because you are creating a deception with an attempt to feel the hurt less. However, when the feelings of the situation resurface or another related event happens, you will see this exaggerated attachment by your own negative reaction. 

Detachment, in the yoga sense, is about letting go of control. In Christian circles, the phrase is letting go and letting God. We tend to go through life orchestrating events, planning, goal setting, working, and playing and we have this concept that we are in total control. There is a fallacy in this belief because if you are in control and I am in control and we are friends, then, who is really in control, you or me? 

Many of us also believe the cause and effect of things to a fault. You may think, “O.K., if I’m nice to this person and treat him kindly, then eventually he will turn around and be kind back.” This may or may not be true. But if you adhere to the belief that he will, in fact, be kind in return, and he isn’t, you are left disappointed, upset and discouraged. Yet, if you approach this same situation with detachment, you might say, “I will treat him with kindness because that is the core essence of who I am. He may not return to me with kindness, but that is no matter because I can’t really control the outcome.” With this approach, there is no disappointment or sad feelings, only happiness because you know you are doing what is right regardless of the outcome. 

Detachment is also synonymous with surrender. We don’t always see the grander picture at work. If you believe in a higher being, your higher power is orchestrating events and situations beyond your wildest dreams. And if you don’t believe in a higher power, know that universal energy or Mother nature is keeping the planets aligned and the seasons on time. Can you do that by yourself? 

Sometimes when I think I’ve got it all figured out, God surprises me. Oh, yeah, I would have to say, this happens most of the time. 

When you detach, you can sit back and enjoy the show. Have you ever seen the person “running the show”? That person is often harried, stressed, frazzled and downright unhappy. 

Practicing detachment is difficult for most people. I have been embracing this concept for over seven years and it still eludes me. But when you do, you will find more enjoyment out of life. You will live more fully in the present moment. You will stop worrying about the future. Because you are being taken care of. Do what you can do and then let God, spirit, mother nature or the universe do the rest. 

Wishing you peace, happiness and love.

Michelle Fondin

Author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle and Secrets of The Wheel of Healing: An 8 CD Audio Program with Workbook. 

www.michellefondin.com

https://www.facebook.com/michellesfondin

Michelle's Story of Learning Meditation: My Deepest Darkest Secrets...

Did you know, when it comes to meditation, you and I are very much alike? 

Before I learned meditation, I had a very chaotic mind. You might not even have recognized me about 7 years ago. For all intents and purposes, I was a bit of a mess. I was very anxious, had an intense fear of flying, even though I had to fly often. I was unhappy with my life at the time and wasn't sure how to change my situation. 

When I came to the Chopra Center in 2006, I only wanted to learn how to teach Ayurveda, not knowing how important learning and practicing meditation was to the process. My contact at the Chopra Center said I would need to start by learning Primordial Sound Meditation. I can't believe I'm telling you this....but in my mind, I was saying, "Yeah, I'll learn it, just to go with it but no one can make me practice it." 

I was thoroughly convinced that I could not sit in meditation, let alone sit in silence at all. I had never been able to do it in my 36 years of life and no one was going to be able to convince me otherwise. 

So I flew to California from France (a 13-hour flight) and on the same day, started my Primordial Sound Meditation Course with about 150 new meditators. I thought I had joined some sort of hippie-fest or cult. But I had this deep respect for Deepak Chopra, and that is the only thing that kept me there. The person who gave me my mantra was an American woman wearing a turban (not a bad thing in itself, just a bit odd for me) and I swear she had a crystal ball. My stubborn mind told me that she had given me the wrong mantra (no rhyme or reason to that one) and when I started the group meditation, I felt the whole ballroom was vibrating with the sound OM. (Maybe that was the jetlag.) 

But maybe it was the fact that I knew I had to be there for 8 days or the fact that I had spent $2,200 for the seminar, I stuck with it. And after the 3rd or 4th day, I began to love meditation. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was my fascination with Deepak or my love for the Chopra Center family. But I, the reticent one, who came into the practice kicking and screaming that I wouldn't do it, was transformed. The first flight I took, after the seminar went 100% smoothly. No fear at all came upon me. Coincidence or the power of meditation?  You choose. 

Now I know I cannot live without meditation or I will become that insanely chaotic person, I once was. Sometimes we don't realize how crazy we actually were until we get better and we can look back and say, "My goodness, I can't believe I was like that." 

Thank you for reading my story. Hopefully you can relate some and want to share in the joy (and sanity) of learning meditation. 

Namasté,

Michelle

Michelle S. Fondin, Founder of The Ayurvedic Path & author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle

Why are we getting more sick as a society?

This is one subject that consistently baffles me. In the U.S. today, we are more privileged, more advanced in technology and just plain richer than most countries. And yet, we are a country that has more cancer, more heart disease, and more diabetes and obesity than most.

What in the world are we doing?

I have made it my life's mission to help the U.S. turn around its view of health, wellness and a quality life.

We are sitting on our butts all day. 

As much as we have gym memberships, home exercise equipment and fitness classes, most of us are sitting around for a majority of the day. Our bodies have not been developed over time to be sedentary. Sitting for long periods makes you more tired and causes you to sit more.

The workplace is probably a big contributing factor. 

If you have a desk job, it's probably killing you. I know that's a bold statement, but there is truth. Each week I see more clients who complain to me, that in order to keep up and not lose their jobs, they must put increasing hours at work. And guess what? That means more sitting.

We are overachievers. 

Unfortunately, in the U.S., if you are not doing more and being more, you may not feel successful. And that means, when you come home from your day job, you are probably carting your kids to baseball, soccer, dance or other activities and thus neglecting your own health. 

We are eaters. 

Since we live this frenetic lifestyle, we are often doing a "grab and go". We grab a Starbucks on the way to work with a pastry. We grab a bag of chips at the vending machine. We grab a soda to be able to work more. Our lifestyle does not allow us to sit and enjoy meals.

We reward ourselves with alcohol. 

Just like the "grab and go" mentality of our eating habits, we have a reward system for getting through our busy lives with a glass of wine, a bottle of beer or a martini. So you spend the day, not moving, eating unhealthy foods, stressing out over your never ending day and on top of it, pour alcohol into your already unhealthy body. Is it any surprise we're getting more sick? 

A Healthy Lifestyle Must Become a Priority in Every Walk of Life. 

As a society, we must turn our lifestyle around if we are to get better. It must be acceptable to exercise during work hours, to take breaks to meditate or have walking meetings. Employees should be able to work remotely and be able to clock their hours and not be threatened with job loss. Wouldn't it be great if you actually got rewarded at work for clocking in hours at the gym, taking a meditation class or organizing an at work "Walk and Talk" meeting? 

Just as being a non-smoker has been more the norm today than 30 years ago, not drinking alcohol needs to become socially accepted as well. Unfortunately, drinking and success in business tend to go hand in hand as business deals are often closed over a glass of something. 

Taking time to eat needs to become another societal norm. In many European countries, people take an hour or more to eat lunch and sit around the table for family dinners. 

Just say "no" to over-scheduling. You don't have to be everything to everyone all of the time. Your child doesn't have to get into Harvard to be successful. The best way we can teach this next generation of kids to live healthfully is to do it ourselves. They will never learn otherwise. 

This is just a bit of food for thought. Any suggestions on how we can live more healthfully as a whole? 

Michelle Fondin

Author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle

www.michellefondin.com

Understanding the Law of Pure Potentiality

In our yoga classes at The Ayurvedic Path, we study The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga. The first of those seven principles is the Law of Pure Potentiality. 

This is a principle innately understood by babies and small children. Initially, everything is open and new. When we are young, all is amazing and the world is a realm of all possibilities. Then very quickly, through our upbringing, we begin to narrow our view of the world. This happens through no fault of our own. Our families, teachers and caregivers, help shape who we are and a lot of that includes setting limitations. 

Growing Up and Growing Out

While fitting into a mold was helpful as we grew up, staying in the parameters that were set for us, may not work in adulthood. I know a family who, through the generations, has encouraged their children to become doctors, lawyers or engineers. Understandably, these are fine areas of study, which often guarantee a good source of income. However, many children, even within the same family don’t necessarily fit into any of these areas easily. But, if you were raised in this family, you might think that you can only choose one of these career paths to be completely accepted and successful. 

Expanding your limitations into full potential includes overriding something you’ve been taught your entire life if it’s no longer serving you. 

Raising the Ceiling of Limitations

Some of us live with a ceiling so low that we frequently hit our heads on it. We are so used to living with our own excuses that we many not even hear our own voices anymore. “I can’t do this because...” “When I get more money, I will...” “If I was younger, I could...” or “I’ve tried that before and it hasn’t worked.” 

Pure potentiality calls us to open up and raise the ceiling to infinite possibilities. This means you must let go of disbelief. What you thought wasn’t possible before, now becomes possible even if you don’t see it right away. Small children dream and speak the impossible. You must have the innocence of a child if you are to embrace pure potentiality. 

Listen to Your Thoughts and Speech

Retraining the mind can be a challenge. One way to begin is to observe yourself. Observe your thoughts and see which ones are limiting. Notice which of those are regular in your thought patterns and write them down. Then make a commitment to yourself to rewrite those thoughts into ones which open you to infinite possibilities. Do the same with the things you say. Make an attempt to not speak limitations on yourself or others. 

You are a piece of the creative mind that orchestrates the world into existence. You have the capacity, therefore, to be limitless. Embrace this aspect of who you are and live the life you’ve always dreamed of living.

Love,

Michelle

Michelle S. Fondin, author of The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle. 

www.michellefondin.com

Mastering the Basics Before Going in Depth

One thing I most often hear in my practice is, “What can give me the quickest results to take my practice, diet or health to the next level?” My response is, “Pay attention to simplicity. Master the basics. Learn to meditate and practice it. Start eating with awareness. Listen to your inner voice.” 

Typically this is not what people want to hear. They want a quick fix. They want to feel success right now. An Ayurvedic and yoga practice is not about “quick fix right now”. It’s about pinpointing with accuracy the change you need to make on a permanent basis to get lasting results for a lifetime. Anyone can sell quick fixes or in depth details on how to get results now. But that is not the goal of an Ayurvedic or yoga practice. 

When I was younger, I dated a high school art teacher. He was baffled at the arrogance of talented young teenage artists, who wanted to learn how to paint like the great masters, without understanding the basics of drawing. Yet, he made them go back to the basics by penciling basic sketches and shading. After parental protests he shared with me, “These students will never go on to be great artists if they don’t master basic drawing skills first.”  While I don’t know a lot about painting, I do know this; when you visit expositions on famous artists, you will always see many pencil sketchings before the great masterpieces. My daughter, who has natural talent in art, sketches for about eight to ten hours per day. 

In discussing the concept of Christianity with a friend a few weeks ago, he shared that grasping the concepts were very deep and difficult to follow. My suggestion was to start easy. I made the commentary that most people have difficulty following the life of Jesus by just being kind. Can you imagine? Kindness is a relatively simple concept. Yet, how many follow it on a regular basis? 

When the great yoga master, BKS Iyengar, was a boy in India, he got up every morning at 4 a.m. to practice yoga with his teacher for two hours before breakfast. After four years, he was tired of the basics and begged his teacher to teach him breathing techniques or pranayama. At my studio, I see yoga students who have been practicing for six months or a year who want to take their practice to the next level. When I suggest they learn to meditate or master what they have already learned, they become frustrated. What they want are more difficult yoga poses. What yoga teaches us is to want inner peace and the discovery of ourselves. 

So why do we hate the basics so much? Why do we loathe repetition and simplicity? I believe it’s because we are linear in our thinking. We see progress as a straight line. Progress should be seen more as a circle. As we develop and grow, the circle becomes bigger and wider. In our growing we don’t always see results on the exterior. But the workings are happening from the inside. 

Try grasping a simple concept for one day. For example, eat all of your meals without distraction (any) and in silence. Have your eating be a sensual experience. Taste, smell, touch, and feel your food. Make each meal a mini-meditation. You may find that this concept, as simple as it is, is difficult for you. 

Or how about mastering the concept of non-judgment?  Spend one day judging nothing or no one, including yourself. Try to stay neutral and rooted in the present moment. Drawing inferences for the future is still judging. Making assumptions is judging. It’s a simple concept, yet difficult to apply, even for a day. 

You can do this with anything and start today. Pick one simple concept and apply it for a day. Then tomorrow, pick something else and pretty soon you will realize that the road to mastery is not far away. 

Love,

Michelle

Michelle Fondin author of "The Wheel of Healing: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle"

www.michellefondin.com